The Art of Mastering Parenting

Good Parenting 2017: How to Teach Responsibility to Your Children

Whenever parents are asked about the traits they like their children to have at present and as adults, one of the most common responses is “to be responsible”. There are many meanings of being responsible such as keeping one’s word, meeting one’s commitments, being dependable, doing something to one’s ability, being accountable for one’s behavior, acknowledging mistakes, and being an asset to one’s family, community, and society. Parents often associate obedience with responsibility. Most parents instruct their children to follow their directions without questioning their authority. But these are not the qualities of being responsible because these are behaviors of being obedient.

It it important for children to develop and exercise ownership for a particular task or chore, and they need to do it because it needs to be done, and eventually they accept that they are obliged to do it. Your children may even initiate performing a task over time with constant reminder and practice because it needs to be done and not because they are being told to do so, which is a good attitude of being responsible. Parents may need to give up their own exact timetable and how they like things to be done, and allow their children to move from being obedient to being responsible according to on their own pace. If you allow your child to do things you instruct on his own way will encourage a feeling of pride and accomplishment as well as foster a sense of accountability and responsibility. When considering the transition from obedience to responsibility, there are issues raised about how involved you should be when helping your child meet his commitments and complete tasks.

There are many parents who are afraid that their children suffer the consequences of life’s failure, trials, and challenges so they do so much for their children, and when this happens, they don’t learn to take responsibility by themselves. On the other hand, there are also times when our children need our guidance and support for them to learn how to be responsible. It is important to find the balance between under-parenting and over-managing by knowing and deciding the most appropriate time to step in, and when it is more effective to let your children go so they can develop maturity and responsible behaviors. Joining extracurricular activities, keeping a pet such as a butterfly koi or puppy and giving your children household chores or tasks are just some of the things you can ask your children to do in order to develop their sense of responsibility. Being a parent is a lifelong responsibility, and we want to teach our children to be responsible for what they do, and their best role model is us.